Scribe 23

Run 23 – First Out Station Run
14 February 2010 – Wang Nam Keow area
Hare – Gordon “Penny Drops” Bailey
Hounds –  Martin “UnDoMeFly” Walsh, Charlie “Half a Job” Crowson, Terence “Dear Deidre” Doyle, Phim “RichBitch” Lacmoney, Chris “Circle Jerk” Cellette, Dan “Lady Boy” Lockwood, Maureen & Marshall Davis.

Run 23 started off from PennyDrops’ property in WNK, on a different day and a different time than usual, and this caused much confusion, frustration and running about as the troops had to be rallied, sunscreened, and re-rallied again and again.  Much drinking had been done the night before to celebrate the birthdays of Gordon, Charlie and Lynn, and the hounds were in various states of ill health, one in improper footwear, and two were virgins.  Anticipating this, PennyDrops promised an easy run with no false trails, and markings no more than 20 meters apart.  But, warned that paper was scarce at the end, so piles would become strands.  Suspicion about the ease of the trail began at once when all were told to go to the Avocado trees and look for the first marking.  The hounds ran in all directions, as not one of them knew an Avocado tree from a Mango tree from a Daisy.  PennyDrops (head shaking in disbelief) pointed in the direction of the Avocados.

The scenic trail proceeded from the Avocados, past ponds, through bramble to a dam and the first set of three paper piles (as we were the virgins on this run, we don’t know most of the terms yet.  The three paper piles seem to be a point for all to gather up, stop, bitch and moan).  This was the most challenging of the stops.  A good 15 minutes was spend tromping around, till it was discovered 20 meters  between piles was really 40.

We proceeded through lovely forest to a rocky stream bed.  Minor scrambling was required.  Then it was up a hill through a meadow and down a hill through a bed of quicksand.  Surely not?  We looked high and low to see if the paper trail was correct, and yes, the man-eating sand had to be crossed.  The first two hounds made it through with minor mud, when UnDoMeFly lost both shoes and nearly both legs in his crossing.  Marshall, the tallest of the bunch, did his Gazelle impression and leapt across unscathed.  Maureen, following his lead, attempted the leap and instead lost a shoe.

The sun climbed high in the sky and much bickering about heat, dehydration and “the worst run yet “ was heard.

But soon the end came as PennyDrops and his truck of cool water and beer was spotted.  Risking punishment, several hounds hopped on to ride the last few meters to the fabulous scenic view and enjoy refreshments.  “You’re only half way there” PennyDrops announced, and morale instantly sank.  More grumbling and complaining began. But the continuing trail led through beautiful rose gardens, past a row of crazed cows all facing our direction and eyeing UnDoMeFly’s bright red shorts, through more vegetation where an actual Hare was spotted (and the hounds briefly wondered if they should chase the Hare but sensibly settled on the shredded paper), to a wonderful pond.  This was the land of PennyDrops’ wife and he wanted us all to enjoy it before he put in the thumb screws and tried to sell it to us.  We gathered at the top of the hill to circle up and imbibe.  PennyDrops went to the middle of the circle and was given a tongue lashing for the difficulty of the trail and the heat.  Phim was given a new name of “Rich Bitch”.  Her last name sounds, to the Farang, like “Lack-Money” and Terence wanted to give her a name that would bring more luck. (we later discovered that Phim’s last name really means “having things of value”, so now she is doubly lucky).  Terrence acquired the name Dear Deidre because he is so fond of writing books on emotional problems between the sexes. Maureen and Marshall were informed (after 5 years of marriage) that they had just lost their virginity.  Then punishments were handed out to the truck riders UnDoMeFly, Circle Jerk and Dan in the form of shame washed down by beer.  Dan was discovered to be nameless and rather fond of having actual meaningful conversations with Thai bar girls, so “Ladyboy” is now his name.  Ladyboy was a bit confused and thought the name meant “Ladies Man”, so he wears his name proudly.

The troops rode back to PennyDrops’ house, where the serious drinking began.

As this was our first run, we feel fortunate to have been assured by everyone that we were on “the best run yet”.

Maureen and Marshall

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SCRIBE 22

     Savvy harriers knew from the off that this run was likely to be the very best run ever for two reasons.

     First reason: Hare Extraordinaire Penny Drops arrived back from doing his recce on the route with a smile that was remarkably big even by LOS standards to report that he had found the perfect run combining town, country, field, farm, factory and volcano.
Okay, maybe he did not promise a volcano but all the rest was on the map.

     Second reason: there was seemingly no one in the country able to savour this exquisite run except for Pennydrops himself and Wobbly, a sure sign that something unusual was in the air. With many of the usual suspects otherwise engaged, Charlie off saving the world in Khon Kaen and so on, this great route looked likely to be wasted on an unmanned posse of one.

     But, of course, with the best itinerary ever in the offing, cometh the day, cometh the harriers, and so the crowd of six that ultimately assembled at Korat’s prestigious George & D was one of the best ever, neatly balancing three dazzling poo-ching, led by Wobbly’s boss Bossy, with three passable poo-chai, and mixing newcomers – well, one newcomer, Phim (soon known as “Animal Coming”) – two returnee (one named ???, the other Tolerance, your scribe for today), and two veterans Dat Mott and Circle Jerk, as well as a highly esteemed “observer” famous worldwide as Marathon Man.

     So a Class A pack for a Class A Hare route and the show was on the road by just gone 4pm with the two truckloads of hungry chasers at the base, a few minutes due south beyond the Zoo and east 4kms, by 4.30pm, leaving lots of time for the chase before sundown. Lots of time, that is, if this had been any ordinary run, but an ordinary run it was not to be.

     Base was an admirably busy spot with a dozen locals on hand to marvel at the athletic preparations of the posse and to help with the picture taking. Then Penny did the brief, laying out the challenge succinctly, including the threat of rogue dogs and, more terrifying, the looming of  a perilous loop where the unwary were liable to waste the rest of their lives, never mind the afternoon, if they missed the signs.

     Oh, if only the pack has been listening at this moment instead of limbering up their various limbs and mugging for the cameras. As it was, they took off with supreme confidence like, well, like a pack of harriers (or should that be “fools”), and spent an amusing first few minutes trotting through a small pristine village centre every bit as picturesque and friendly as Hare PD had suggested. 

     However, fifteen minutes down the found, one simple loop completed, the trail petered out and then began a good half hour of fruitless searching, wasted energy, sore legs and self-anguish. Forget the needle in the haystack frustration. This was like looking for tiny scraps of paper in a wilderness. Well, actually, we were looking for tiny scraps of paper in a wilderness.

     Not that it was entirely unpleasant. The pack of six spread out in groups or twos, threes, ones and zeros and crisscrossed the same streets, swamps, canals, fields and wats maybe 20 times, much to the amusement of the locals who offered hearty greetings every time a jogger reappeared, while looking more and more terrified that their peaceful retreat had been invaded by a group from the insane asylum, and offering misleading instructions – primarily, “He went that way!” (entirely wrong).

     As well, Phim joined an impromptu football game with local kids, spectators (more local kids) assembled to sit and watch, Tolerance was face to face with the world’s biggest water buffalo and consoled with a free bottle of Chang from an amused bystander (it emerged later that Hare Penny has previously bribed the amiable Chang man with a bottle of whiskey), and Circle Jerk had lots of unwelcome opportunities to break in his new shoes.

     As the light began to fade, the trail was almost forgotten and the biggest challenge of the run became finding other members of the pack.

     But finally the cry went up, “Onandon”, Wobbly having broken the descending Dante spiral to hell and found a way out of the loop at the same moment that another part of the pack had discovered yet more paper. So which was the entrance, which the exit? Cue more to-ing and fro-ing. Slightly frustrating but a real sense that everyone might soon finally be on the right way and find that elusive hare, but worried as the sun was beginning to set. 

     And wise we were to worry, for the Hare was not finished with his tricks yet, first lulling the pack back into a false sense of security with a relatively straightforward trail, past a half dozen romantically isolated houses and a solitary farmer in a tractor ploughing with the sun low in the trees behind him.

     Then another dead end. The Hare’s briefing had offered some hope to the lame and inane about this stage of the trail – “Keep the lake on the right” – and there was a lake reassuringly in the distance but how was one to get there?

     Well, after some more frantic pack searching – the sun nearly gone at this point – some scraps of paper were spotted in the twilight blowing around the stalks of a cornfield (Gordon????) and the hunt was on again, everyone stooping low to traverse the crop field, only to be faced with an even more demanding challenge, a tapicoa field of seemingly 1000 furrows. Really this outing was beginning to feel more like Raiders of the Lost Ark than the KH3.

     Fortunately, after that, all was plain sailing, if you can count stumbling through brambles, thorns, barb wire and marsh as “plain sailing”. But at last the Hare was spotted, relaxing by the edge of the surprisingly huge lake, and a volley of  happy cries went up - “Kill the hare” – some of them surprisingly blood curdling in their venom.

     Of course, by the time the pack actually reached the prey, they were in no condition to wreak any kind of retribution for their trials, especially when the Hare confessed that there was still a sizeable tract of land everyone had to cross to reach the final resting place. It seems that the Hare had relented – or perhaps grown cold waiting in the fading light – and come back to the pack to half guide it home, to what was undoubtedly the best ending ever, with a stunning pink sunset over the lake growing ever more beautiful as the beers came out and went Down Down.

     A Circle was duly formed in the darkness amid much frivolity, even the most tired of runners had to admit that the trail and the run, though at times frustrating, was surely the best ever. ONON FOREVER.

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Scribe 19-

Run 19 – The Soluble Hash
26 September 2009 – Baan Khon Chum watergate area –  ~6.5 K
Hare: Mike “Fink” Newman
Hounds: Chris “Circle Jerk” Cellette, Gordon “Pennydrops” Bailey,
Chris Wobblyboot Webley
Hors de Camp:  Pu “Bossyboot” Webley,  George “Procrastinator” Beverage

            Sometimes the best laid plans (or hash trails) turn to s….   This one dissolved.  The Fink had carefully recced a scenic A to A route for the run near a watergate (Fink seems to like watergates) in a pretty park-like setting on the Lam Takhong River just a few Km NW of downtown Korat.  There were showers in the morning, but when Fink arrived to lay the trail shortly after noon, skies were clear with no signs of any more rain. Fink likes to use flour to mark the tail – very environmentally correct.  No problem on a sunny afternoon like this.  Down a paved road into the shiggy, through a serene coconut plantation, along a dirt road with smiling and waving Isan damsels in the fields.  Who could ask for a more idyllic setting.  This had promise of being the best KH3 hash ever.  Wait, what was that?  Thunder!  Run for cover.  Oh NO!  There goes the flour so carefully and skillfully laid – dissolving away before Fink’s eyes.  Fate intervened.  Pennydrops, duty driver for the day, who had failed to look at the web site to find out how to get to the run site, called Fink to find out.  Fink was close to tears.  Penny: I have a bag full of styrofoam ham bowls in the back.  Can you use them?  Fink: OK.  Bring them out and I’ll lay a live hare run using them.  It almost worked.  Penny followed Fink with the bag of bowls, while the hare retraced his morning track.  It was coming up on 16:00, but the run wasn’t scheduled to start until 16:30.  The hares had a safe lead on the hounds.  Everything was going fine --- until.  What is that coming up fast from the rear?  Wobblyboot’s strong baritone somewhere behind singing out: “On On”.  What the?  It was only just now 16:30.  The buggers had kicked off from A site early.  Penny hid in the shiggy.  Woobly trotted on by, oblivious, soon followed by Circle Jerk, half limping and grumbling to himself about having lost the sole of one shoe.  The hare, of course, was heading off in another direction, still laying the styrofoam trail.  Not to worry.  Hounds and hares converged at what would have been about 7/8 track, and trotted ON IN together, hand in hand, singing the HHH hymn: Why Was He Born so Beautiful.  As the circle was called, the skies pissed on us once more for good measure.  But luckily, the hare had chosen a roofed shelter for the ceremonies, which were also enjoyed by a few locals starring in disbelief as down downs were proffered and bare butts were iced.  All things considered, the soluble hash may have been our best run ever.

Humbly yours,
Pennydrops, dishonorably On Sex

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Scribe 18-

Run 18 - High Tea at the Princess’ Country Digs
5 September 2009 – Princess Sririndon’s Country Estate –  ~5 K
Hare: Chris “Wobblyboot” Webley
Hounds: Phu “Bossyboot” Webley, Chris “Circle Jerk” Cellette, Mike “Fink” Newman, Gordon “Pennydrops” Bailey,

Peter “Red Handed” Box, his lovely betrothed, Pui "DotCom"  and Army Steve of Ram Pub

            Run 18 took us back to the enclosed densely forested country estate of HRH Princess’ Sririndon about 10 Km east of town off Rt 224, the site of Run 7 when a gaggle of runners from Pattaya’s Jungle Hash joined us.  Run 7 rambled around in the NW quadrant of the Royal Estate outside and inside the 2 meter high concrete wall enclosing that side.  Wobbly’s Run 18 started just outside the main gate near the SE corner of the estate, entering the mostly shiggy growth of that quadrant through a tear in the chain link fence – no, not created by KHHH!   Speaking honestly – not this scribe’s wont – Wobbly laid a fairly easy track.  The group stayed pretty much together most of the run, since there were enough brambles and thorns so that even the FRBs weren’t able to lose old man Pennydrops back at the tail end.  It should be recorded, though, that one old master of hashing, Fink, disappeared at one point.  We all thought he had SCB’d his way home following the scent of the piss wagon, but lo and behold, he actually had lost paper, not reappearing -- at an unaccustomed tail end of the pack -- until nearly at the OnIn.  Hash virgin, Kiwi Peter Box (later christened Red Handed for some foreign indiscretion best not described in this polite chronicle), made a good showing of himself on his first hash by staying in the lead, along with Army Steve, for much of the run.  Not as much can be said for his betrothed, the lovely Nong Pui, who, with her sister and veteran hasher, Bossyboots, turned into SCBs somewhere in a loop near the midpoint and short cut back to the A site with the Hare, who was out on the trail doing a bad job of taking pictures of the runners.  Highlights of the Run 18 circle were the christening of old timer Chris Cellette and hash virgin Peter Box with well deserved Hash names.  Chris was named “Circle Jerk” in recognition of his skillful and acerbic performances as -- well, Circle Jerk.  Peter came away as “Red Handed”.  Red Handed?, you ask.  What did he do to deserve that?  Well if the truth must be known -- as Red Handed tells it himself -- he was once roaming about the sand dunes of Qatar or wherever in the wastes of the ME, when he felt the urge to have a cooling morning dip at a watering place.  He went in the water on two legs but, perhaps due to its soothing effects, came out with three legs just as a rover load of Japanese tourists came by.  Talk about a photo op!  That business done, we were back to The Ram, where owner and yet to be named Army Steve tried unsuccessfully to keep us sober with plates of mushy peas on chips (Jeeze, the Brits will eat anything.)  It was all down hill from then, but your scribe does remember being shut of and limited to ice water at the George sometime around 2 AM.  But through the fog of memory I do remember many having said that:  Run 18 may have been our best run ever.

Yours, etc.  Scribe Pennydrops

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Scribe 17-

Run 17 -  Valiantly Into the Night 14 August, 2009 – Intown Korat Night Run – Around 5KA few days after Run 16, Wobblyboot sent out an all points suggesting we assemble at Geroge and Dragon around 18:30
Friday, 14th for a brief meeting and then an intown Pub crawl, live hare run.  Despite lukewarm responses from KHHHers,
the intown run actually occurred and was a raging success.  Possibly the best run ever.  When we assembled, I was
ambivalent, since there were only Wobbly, Dan and me.  But Wobbly pushed for it and we picked up a bystander, young
German cum American tourist visiting who had wandered from Tokyo where he works, through Laos, to Korat, to the
George and Dragon, where we met.  Four of us.  Give Wobs credit for a good idea.  Each one would live hare one of
four legs of the run – a hash rely, so to speak, and possibly a first in hashing.  Here were Wobbly’s guidelines for
hares:  Go anywhere, trail marks and checks only, about 100 meters max from check to first trail mark
(spots on the pavement from a can of baby powder from 7-Eleven).  Each hare to lead his leg ultimately to some shop
or bar that served cold Leo, where we would split 1 - 2 bottles and switch hares.  End up back at G&D.  Along in the
first leg, Dan on a whim, said "let's ask that young couple (Dutch it turned out) entering that hotel to join us".
  We did, and they did, for the next leg, shared a beer, and then disappeared as we set out on the third leg.
Wobbly led us down the alley behind G&D, through the now closed Mae Kim Heng market to about Klang Plaza where we
stopped at a Chinese shop for beer and a down down for the Dutch couple.  Dan led off 2nd leg, through the Ginza fun
spot and then out behind the Sala Klang, where we wondered about a bit before finding Dan sitting enjoying a beer with
a couple lovely ladies in a small stall with WiFi,no less.  Henrick, who had never even heard of the HHH,
let alone hared a run, picked up the strategy from the first two legs and did a good job on the 3rd leg, ending us
at a small shop across from Ya Mo monument plaza.  I brought us back to G&D over the flyover by IT Mall then back
across Mitrapap, and up the alleys around the old bus station.  I found myself running down a couple of small dead
end alleys, so just put down a turn back arrow, which didn't bother anybody.  The can of baby powder ran out on
the On In leg, but by then overlapped with Wobbly's out going first leg, so no problem doubling back on that.
  Wobbly disappeared on the last leg and we thought he was lost out there.  Hard for me to believe though, since
Wobbly has a 6th sense in finding the next mark, although he did get screwed up once in the third leg, misremembering
how we had approached one intersection where we lost the scent for quite some time.  However, it turned out he was
not lost; he had peeled off the last leg into his hotel and reappeared at the G&D showered and changed.  Cheeky FRB.
  Wobbly figured it was about 7K total, but I think maybe less.  Hey Boy Chris begged out claiming he had a case of
McDonald's tummy, but was at G&D when we returned.  No circle, but a down down or two at each stop along the way.
  Wobbly did a great job planning it, saying he had never seen a hash with trade off of live hash duties along the track.
He was very pleased with himself, deservedly. Dan was great.  Hashed skillfull for his first time.  I totally lost
my sense of direction, even though I have been over those roads many times in daylight.  In Heinrick’s leg,
we stumbled on a cute little massage parlor just off Ya Mo, with a number of unoccupied cute not so little
girls sitting around outside, who said they had not seen a farang run by, even though we eventually found a powder
mark right in front of the place.  We agreed we should do it often -- the run, not the massage parlor.  Wobbly said
once a month, but I don't know how we could if we hardly can get a boondocks afternoon run in that often.  
Unfortunately, no one had a camera, so no pics.  Nevertheless, this one was possibly the best run we have ever had.Yours, etc.  Scribe Pennydrops

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Scribe16-

Run 16 –  On again off again stroll in the country 9 August, Ban Mai, Amphor Muang, Korat – around 5 K.Run 16 was an on again off again event until our glorious mis-leader, GM Wobblyboots, could work out his off time schedule from the
wastes of NW Oz.  On short notice, he announced he’d be home on the AM of Sunday, 9 August and come directly to Korat from the airport
changing into his Superman suit and running shoes enroot.  An emailed announcement went out.  Bossyboots, organized the Hash Stash to
be delivered to George & Dragon by the meeting time, 3 PM.  Mike Fink set the run. Mis-anagement organized the piss and ice upon arrival.
And perhaps the best KoratHHH hash yet took place along a cultureful country road in the coconut trees and rice fields of nearby Ban Mai
village a few klicks west of downtown.  This was a short and straight forward A to B run (none of Fink’s famous never ending false trails)
taking into consideration that some runners had to have their minds turned on for work next morning.  Korat HHH hounds were Wooblyboot,
Bossyboots, Pennydrops, Dan no last name, Chris “Hey Boy” Cellette and, to everyone’s delight, WhipItGood Alex, back for a break from
her wanderings and Kung Fu training in China.  We also picked up Terrence, Torrance, Tolerance, a delightful visiting Brit with a
girlfriend in Korat, who we found lounging about at the G&D perfectly dressed for a hash in long pants, sport shirt, and sandals. 
No matter.  He was a welcomed addition and finished in the first pack.  The trail ran along a beautiful undisturbed area of coconut
woods and rice fields near Ban Mai village.  Wobbly was an FRB psyching out the correct new track at each check, while Dan kept testing
the more inviting, but wrong paths in to the coconuts.  Pennydrops took up his usual position as rear guard and spent more time chatting
with the natives than looking for the trail.  Which trail deteriorated into a developing road of ugly land fill for a new housing
development and finally, with Whipitgood and Dan leading, to the B site and waiting piss wagon that Fink had parked on a bridge over an
idyllic meandering stream.  Bossy and Penny had laid on the now usual snack fare of sticky rice, gai yang and Penny’s smoked ham scraps
with bbq sauce.  The small group circled, down downs were offered all around etc., etc.  Notable was GM giving his wife a blow job
with Leo beer, and Chris Hey Boy’s” skillful, acerbic and now routine turn as the Circle Jerk.  Repturned to G&D where your humble
scribe proceeded to suffer a Leo induced Oldtimer’s attack and consequently can remember no more of this memorable -- and possibly
the best ever – KoratHHH hash No. 16, or was it 15?Yours, etc.  Scribe Pennydrops

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Scribe 15

Run 15 – Racing with the Moon 11 August 2009 – Moon River area out Rt 226, A – B, ca. 6 K
Hares: HalfJob, English Steve of The Ram Hounds:
Bart, Chris Hey Boy, Dan, Spanish Princess Elina (Elena?), Mike Fink, Thai Princess Nok (?)
Pennydrops Half-a-Job Charlie, our ever imaginative JM, did it again.
Another KoratHHH first: A pick your own trail run. But let’s start at the beginning. Hare HaJ brought
English Steve, owner of The Ram, along to introduce him to Korat hashing and help lay the trail. They picked an
idyllic site along the banks of the Moon River about 20 klicks east of town in an area where they had recently
enjoyed a racous river boat outing. Meeting at The George and logistics were as usual and aided by Steve’s
pickup truck. GM Wobbly was busy driving his crane in Oz, so Pennydrops stopped by chok Chai and picked up
the hash paraphernalia, loaded on some Leos and the ice chair and followed Steve to the site. Villagers
gathered to wonder at the crazy farangs, and after a totally inadequate run briefing by HaJ, we were off and
running – well Pennydrops was walking. All went well for awhile, then the trail, seeming to lead into the
shiggy, went cold. It looked suspiciously like the Hares had changed their minds when we saw dribbles of
paper leading nowhere. Not to matter, a trail was eventually found and this one gave multiple options.
Mike Fink, following his sixth sense gained from 35 years hashing in Saipan, followed the main road and
eventually stumbled on paper about a Km down the way. Meanwhile, Hey Boy Chris and the rest of us found a
trail leading around a village and the rice fields which seemed to go in two directions but actually in no
direction. Nok took her time and waited for the crazy farangs to make up their disoriented minds, then followed
along – with Penny. We finally said what the hell, and made for what we figured was the river and the B site.
And eventually we come on Steve out looking for the lost in his truck. Now we were on a trail again and straggled
in to find the Fink long in and waiting for a second hound so he could open a beer. The circle was spirited
with both HaJ and Hey Boy Chris competing for the rudest and crudest behaviour. Both are to be complemented
as being superb Circle Jerks. In fact, so good that the circle went on way after dark, requiring Pennydrops
to enlighten the proceedings with his truck. In fact, some might say that this was the best Circle ever –
enhanced to a great extent by the delightful presence and spirited participation of our lady virgins,
Senorita Elina and Nong Nok. Enough said on that. It is reported that we all made it back to the Ram for
further festivities. Your Scribe remembers that and immortalized the fun with a few pictures of Elina doing
yoga on Charlie’s knees. But, when they all departed on their motosighs to someplace called Tony’s, your Scribe
wisely took his sotted and aged body off to its chambers to rest. It was said by some, and not in jest, that
this was possibly our best run ever.

Yours respectfully, etc. Scribe Pennydrops

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Scribe 13-

Korat HHH Run 13: Water and Electricity = High voltage fun
Hares – PennyDrops and HalfJob
Hounds – Marathon Man, Shrivelage, Gay Dutch Porn, Issan Liar, Curious Jimmy, Mam, Pa, Kwan, Andy
Slugs – Procrastinator, Amy
9.30am – a voice is calling from outside the Dragonfly house. ‘HalfAss! Get out of bed you lazy bastard!’ Oh shit, I’ve been asleep for 3 and a half hours and the old man is here to set the run already. Oh shit!
So we head out to the A site; exactly 5 clicks past the Korat zoo turn on the Pack Tong Chai Road and start what in time will be referred to as the best run yet. We (being PennyDrops and HalfJob) begin to hare…
Procrastinator has come good after going off radar for a few weeks and he’s bringing the hash stash and cash ready for the uber lash.
Now PennyDrops must have been here a hundred times with his GPS, Google Earth maps, Military Airforce training and keen eye for a water feature, so I was expecting to set something exciting. I did not, however expect PD to have a thing going with every woman in the neighbourhood?! Sly dog! For his extreme precision in setting the trail and his ability to cut and paste the trail to within 15 cm of the desired length, PD deserves the ‘Hash Geek’ award.
2.56pm - George & Dragon, there’s a few surprises. Issan Liar is lined up in his shorts and runners along with the mysterious virgins Kwan, her lesbian lover Pa and the ever over enthusiastic Mam. Unfortunately for Amy, she was in the right place at the wrong time and was duly abducted in PD’s truck and taken to the A site. Probably the best abduction this hash has seen to date.
4.10 – 4 cars convoy to the run site and out of all of them, only the hares get lost. This does mean that we gave good directions and put up good signs. (Good job hares.) We start off with a full on sprint from Newbee Andy, who has graced the hash ever so foolishly wearing new shoes (excellent considering the water feature), but it doesn’t last. After 1 kilometer he trails the pack and ends up strutting in after the FBI (First Bitch In) that is Mam!
Marathon Man finds himself in unfamiliar territory due to the fitness of this weeks pack. He is trying his best to stay behind all the women so’s to watch them from behind (to make sure they back safely obviously!), but he accidentally overtook the lot and FRB’d with the big dogs. He was punished with down downs for this heinous misrepresentation of his hashing pedigree.
Our hare of hares, PD is charged with one responsibility after the hounds set off. One responsibility. Get to the water feature and make sure you get a picture of everyone when they are wet. A photo. Of wet people. Easy. Oh no it isn’t. Not when PennyDrops is in charge. He’s been on the pop since 10am and he is distracted by the best looking slug yet (sorry big Martin, but you’re not taking that accolade!) and he only manages to get to the river crossing to catch the back runners come in.
Having run the full length of the impeccable 13th Korat Hash House Harriers Run, our visitor Curious Jimmy is already off his head. He has the best Hash outfit this Hash has seen; a utility belt with 4 liquor bottles hooked in for the times of need that often hit whilst hashing. He’s finished the lot by the ‘On In’. Denmark has given us lots in the past: Carlsberg, Hans Cristian Anderson, Peter Schmeichel, Danish pastry (why do they call it that?), bacon and now ‘Curious Jimmy’ a hasher who claims that Korat HHH is better than Chiang Mai by far and treats us to the honour of being his favourite hash group ever! His enthusiasm for the straight arm (Penance) could only be overhauled by Newbie Andy’s courage to hit the blue pipe 4 times in a row until it was perfected (that is to say every drop went down his shirt.)
HalfJob arrives in after the FRB’s and is followed by a pair of ladyboys on a moped looking for a photo (they have heard his recent antics and obviously feel their luck is in.) He humours their photographic (but not pornographic) needs – half a job done!
Shrivelage is leaving us. The circle stops for a minutes silence (remarkably taken considering the number of howling women we had this time.) He will be heading for cooler climates in the incest pit that is Belgium to find his true parents (he is the bi-product of a homosexual transvestite kite maker from Brussels who had a fling with a former world champion hasher named Shrinkage – apparently it runs in the family… the world champion hashing that is, of course.) He consumes a pair of Penances and a willy (as if I can remember every punishment? I assume he did not get away without this anyway!)
Just Chris has been running slow as ever but was in fine aggressive form bullying the circle into submission after the run. He is strict on down downs and timing on the ice and in time will prove a menace to the circle. Ye be warned! This leads to several suggestions for the future hash name: Conspiracy theory, Dutch Rudder, Gay Dutch Porn and Circle Jerk. To be voted on in the next circle.
Now the lesbian show. Very interesting. Pa and Kwan are doing some informal dance routine with the willy that suggest they may have religious acquaintance. The circle cheers in delight as the harriettes thrust each other on the ice. Unfortunately for those missing (but fortunately for the onlooking Issan Liar) the camera is now ‘bet mot’ so we have no proof of this man’s hash’s first fishy business. Shame.
Mam – chapter to herself. She spent the whole run complaining that she didn’t want to run anymore. She’s tired. She’s fed up. She ends up FBI and spends half the time on the ice screaming at the top of her voice. She’s outspoken, rude, offensive, she’s ‘dak motting’ everything before the down down song, she’s eating all the chicken legs (great spread Procrastinator!) and smoked ham (PD’s speciality) and she’s refusing to offer all hashers 50% at the G&D! In short some excellent hash behaviour that we all hope to see again. She may even get that queer looking fella of hers with no hair from the George to come on the next run?!
The hash circle loses it’s way without the GM and anarchy leads us to the George and Dragon for some On on on’s. Chris is beaten to the floor by the proprietor in a school playground death match and goes on to abuse all Canadian’s in Korat. Here the carnage begins, and the tales end…
Carlsberg don’t do Hashes, but if they did…
Here’s to Korat she’s true blue.
HAJ

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Scribe 12-

"Run 12:  Down by the Riverside.   Disclaimer: Anything blatantly offensive found here is intended to be so.Everything started smoothly.  The hounds without wheels gathered on schedule at G&D:  Mike Guinto, recently back to LOS from questionable activities in the darker corners of the PI; Cris Cellette, an American and nubbie, who we hope will become one of the faithful, and Martin "London Bobby" Donnely, local resident and erstwhile hasher, who had been taking his leisure at the G&D over bottles of Guinness since last Wednesday to assure that he would be in appropriate condition to celebrate St Paddy's Day fast approaching on the next Wednesday.  Martin's better half, Ann, and son Charlie were also hovering about nearby keeping a watchful eye on daddy.  Things began to deteriorate when co-hare Pennydrops, not having taken into account that if you lay a run from A to B, you must somehow get back to A to get your car, failed to show up at G&D to pick up the waiting hounds.  Not to worry.  Mismanagement came to the rescue in the form of Grand Master, Wobblyboot, under the close supervision of his keeper and KHHH's mother figure, Bossyboot, as usual.  With Procrastinator, the toast of Choak Chai in tow, they gathered the waiting hounds, proceeded to the elegant townhouse and corporate headquarters of Dragonfly Enterprises, Inc. to collect Udomefly, Halfjob and, Undomefly's keeper, the ever charming, Rin and, hopefully to recover Pennydrops, who was eventually found lost in the small sois of this exclusive neighborhood.  Finally gathered, we headed in tandem to the A site, an idyllic glade next to a plastic bag clogged watergate on the Kratong river on the western outskirts of Korat town.  Along the way, Pennydrops barely missed running co-hare Mike The Fink Newman off his pushbike as he was heading back to the A site from a leisurely lunch at his nearby country villa.GM called the A circle, Pennydrops reluctantly donned the newly acquired "hotdog suit", Mike G put on his pink Afro hat, and hares briefed the runners, advising them to behave themselves as they ran straight through a "wat pa" on the route, but failing to be too explicit about how things worked with the numerous "false trails" they had laid. Then we found out who was not running when Udomefly, claiming he had wounded himself falling of his motosigh previous evening (likely story), Procrastinator, claiming he had forgot his genital supporter, Martin the Copper, not wanting to lose his three-day buzz plus family members, and Mike the Fink who was needed to lead the way in the vehicles to wait at the B site.  The stalwarts were off and running, with co-hare Pennydrops talking up the rear and becoming lost himself at the first check -- which he had laid.  Now things began to fall apart.  At the first opportunity, the pack followed FRBs Mike G and Wobblyboot -- now wearing the monkey suit to the delight of gaping villagers -- down a false trail into the rice fields, not to reappear for 10 minutes.  Next, said FRBs headed down the second false track nearly to Pak Chong district until Penny waved them back.  Meanwhile, the crafty HalfJob followed by Bossyboots (on her first full run) and Cris C. had found the right trail across the bridge and into the village but promptly took the first opportunity to lead the whole pack down another blind trail out through the village, down a road -- a full half kilometer off paper -- and finally up against a check point from nowhere that was actually placed mid-way along the correct trail they had all missed.  Oh well, the best laid trails sometimes go astray.  Fortunately, the runners were denied access to a school yard by one of the teachers, otherwise they would have run the trail backwards to site A.  No matter -- ONON! they shouted, and off they went through the temple, into the bananas and in record time cruised into B site, a second watergate along the pretty river and bordering the water works .Circle was called and proved ... well... "boisterous" might be a good word.  Virgins Chris, the nubbie, and London Bobby Martin's better half were ordered into the circle and quivered with anticipation as they waited to be deflowered by splashs from the GM, this week wearing his still unwashed headband pakama at a roguishly deflowering angle.  The vertical ice block was horizontalized to accept multiple bare butts, and those of most hashers enjoyed a convivial rub while they were admonished and splashed for real and imagined sins on the trail.  Mike G was baptized with his Hash name:  Shriviledge, or was it Shrivlage.  (This correspondent has no notes giving a clue to what this name means, but surely it is an original in the annals of hashing.)  ONON Shriviledge -- or Shrivlage.  Much more happened deep into the night, including Virgin Chris proving once again that you can't drink a splash held stiffly at arms length by a length of PVC pipe.  In addition, here is some of what your scribe's notes recorded on the scene:  "Mooin uhhh", "I wast wasn't heme", "George: We dowher we do", "Cr 32- Aussit chance driver", Chris 2X ic Pipe".  One of these days, scribe intends to stay sober at least to the end of the Circle.  I think we repaired to the G&D from there.  Not certain on that.As you can see this clearly was one of the best runs we've had.  Some even said it was the best.ONON.Yours, etc.Pennydrops

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Scribe 11

Korat HHH Run 11:  A Day at the Zoo: Any relation to reality is coincidental. 

With an efficiency now renowned throughout greater Isan, Korat H3 runners began assembling for Run 11 at George & Dragon at precisely somewhere around 3ish on 1 Feb, or thereabouts.  To wit:  Mike Fink the Fink, welcomed back after an extended sabbatical from KH3;  Pennydrops, late and claiming he was waylaid by the ladies languishing in front of the massage shop around the corner (doesn’t he wish);  Marathon Man, to whom we owe much thanks for designing our latest KH3 logo, visiting once again from parts south, this time with his comely friend, Ae, who enjoys the distinction of being a Pattaya lass who was actually born in Pattaya; and Charlie -- henceforth to be known by his new hash name, HalfJob, in recognition of his unfailing incompetence – bounding over the curb on his motosigh with Alex on the back -- henceforth to be known by her new hash name, WhipItGood, which recognizes her kinky propensity to suggestively apply a stick whip snapped from the bush to the exposed and unsuspecting bare butts of males sitting on the ice during Circle. 

Our worthy GM, Wobblyboot, resting quietly in his quarters in the Honeymoon Penthouse Suite of the nearby SanSabbai Hotel after a refreshing nooner with Mistress Bossyboot, the GMs’ GM, was duly aroused and informed, and in short order, Mr and Mrs Boot appeared in the loaded piss wagon from a back alley, ran a red light, pushed two motosighs and a Tuk Tuk off the road and, with Pennydrops in close formation, proceeded to a prearranged rendezvous with UndoMeFly and his “harem of the week”.  Of course, UndoMeFly, etc. were nowhere to be found.  When he finally arrived, UndoMe mumbled something about having been delayed searching for his last Viagra tablet, which he would be needing for an important after-OnOn assignment.  Undomefly’s harem-of-the-week -- which included Lin, new Hash name PlayWithMe;  Ao, new Hash name DakMot (Isan for “drink it down”); Ben and Lucky -- had disappeared at the last minute announcing that they must have plastic bags of ice coffee for the trip, which they proceeded to dispense liberally over themselves and the boot of Pennydrops’ Vigo on the bouncy ride to the run site.

Before describing the run site and the run, itself, it should be noted, and much credit should be given, to HalfJob Charlie, who had volunteered to hare Run 11 after having run a hash only twice before, himself.  HalfJob demonstrated remarkable headwork and imagination in this initial haring endeavour.  Niceties out of the way, honesty must prevail.  The run site was a small patch of the Gobi desert that had been transported to the opposite side of the road from the Korat Zoo, possibly for a Zoo display to demonstrate a truly barren part of the planet.  Flat, dry, dusty, covered mostly with rough ziggy, dead or dying scrub trees, the odd tapioca field, and with an imposing square lake in the middle surrounded by pickup truck riding nomads who had been fishing quietly, and now suddenly found themselves surrounded by crazy farangs.  As we approached the A site, it looked strangely as though a fresh snow had fallen the night before.  On closer inspection that was found to be a liberal spreading of paper by our conscientious hare.   GM called the pre-run circle and asked the hare for a briefing: “Keep the lake on your right, and you’ll be right.”  Clear enough, HalfJob.  And off we went.  Wobblyboot, fully refreshed from his nooner, took an early lead.  Halfjob had been kind enough to have often put new paper in full view of a check point, so there was not much milling about at checks, as most of the press moved swiftly along the trail.  I say most, because as is his wont, Pennydrops generally went off in the wrong direction at checks and soon fell far behind.  At the same time, and in their usual mysterious way, the ladies got far out in the lead.  How do they do that?  Meanwhile, Pennydrops got lost trying to shortcut through a tapioca patch, and ended up following paper in the wrong direction right up against the main hash pack heading the opposite way.  Not to worry, that put everybody together for a photo finish back to A in record time. 

After a leisurely shower, shave and change into clean duds behind the piss wagon, the GM appeared and called the circle, his head held together as usual by that gay red and white pakamaa that hasn’t been washed in a year or more.  And a busy circle it was.  First, assessment of the run.  Halfjob was roundly complimented for his halfjob, and it was determined that using the standard hash scale of +1 to +10 to rate difficulty, this run warranted a – 3.  Further congratulations were offered to the hare while he sat on the ice block and WhipItGood probed the crack in his butt with a switch pulled off a nearby thorn tree.  There were several virgin hashers and visitors to splash, and then GM took aggressive action.  Despite his repeated failings in this important job, UndoMeFly was reinstated once again as Hash Religious Advisor.  Let’s hope he can bring some moral responsibility to this heathen tribe.  Next, hapless Charlie received the hash name, HalfJob, and in further recognition of his half-talents and semi-devotion to duty, was named Joint Master.  A wise choice, GM.  Well done and good luck HalfJob.  Finally, GM designated Pennydrops Hash Scribe, not such a wise choice, and one that GM will probably come to regret soon.  Never mind, nothing is permanent.  Alex, wicked whip of the West, got her well-deserved Hash name, WhipItGood, while continuing to do her kinky thing around the circle.  Then the Thai ladies came into the circle, setting the record straight about who really runs things, naming each other and drinking numerous down downs – of aqua pura.  And of course we can not end our report of the circle without recognizing the continuing efforts of Ms Bossyboot, KH3 house mother, in providing snacks, handing up the splashes in a timely fashion, and generally keeping the rest of us under control. 

Scribe, who was fairly sloshed and had lost his truck keys once again, has been informed that we then repaired to a stylish country restaurant at the corner of Zoo Rd and 304 for tasty servings of Thai bbq, fish, unknown spicy stuff and, finally, some half decent piss -- Leo!   It was further reported that those who could still walk/drive retraced our path to the G&D for one last shout for the road.  I wouldn’t know.

Some were even heard to say this might have been the best hash we’ve had.  Could be.

Respectfully, etc., 
Pennydrops

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Scribe 10-

On and On and On and On

The setting for run #10 was near the Suranaree Industrial Zone not so far outside our very own beloved Khorat. This hash brought many new members to the circle and several old friends as well. The players were Wobblyboot, Bossyboot, The Procrastonator, Pennydrops, MikeG, Undomefly, Lin, Charlie, Ore, Tanya, Alex and Dan.

The GM got everyone into the spirit by explaining some of the basic rules of the hash, and then setting the hounds lose on their quest for hares, beer, green plants of the Earth, or anything else they might find along the way. 

As with any hash no one wants to be the FRB, but eventually the pack got moving. Bossyboot and the Procrastinator stayed behind as someone has to volunteer to guard the supplies and a few of “lings” followed at their own pace! The trail was of the paper variety leading through a bunch jagger bushes, brown grass, and other prime snake hiding grounds.  After a few twists and turns things became a bit more complicated and several SCB were seen (but later went unpunished), as the trail left the wilderness and went into some open fields.  The hounds were left confused and dejected as several false trails were discovered, and those running in the front found themselves quickly at the back.

After the crop field’s things got Holy.  No, not religious like but giant holes in the ground created by who knows what or for a purpose that only a Thai could fathom (maybe to fill with som tom or fish sauce in case of emergency?)!

The hounds were lead further astray as the trail seemed to lead downward when really it went around.  This is when our own little climber (what was the blonde girl’s name??) went Commando style and scaled a cliff wall only to commit a gravely criminal hashing act by accepting the hand of a male hasher upon summiting.  We all know this counts as an act of canoodaling, but what the GM and RA don’t see won’t hurt them!! 

As the run started to wind down it became apparent that those wearing pants were the envy of others around them, and Pennydrops became a little frisky.  This led one of the new hashers and your truly to display a half moon which again is a grave hash offence because if you’re going to drop trowel do it all the way or don’t!

5.7 kilometers later the pack gathered at the “On In” for some much needed fried chicken, rice, beer, and other healthy, nutritious, and delicious snacks!  The GM got everyone into their designated places in the circle, and the “Down, Down’s” began. A few of the more noteworthy “Down Down” events involved the Duck Dance, Dan’s Icey Vagina, new boots, FRB, and some spirited words by our RA.  Some other things happened as well, but could you remember them after so many upturned empty cups?????

“This is a Down, Down song, it isn’t very long, so drink it down, down, down, now drink it down, down, down!” 

“Why are we waiting, we could be fornicating, why are we waiting so FUCKING LONG!”

Mike G 

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Scribe 9-

Well yet again it was another beautiful day for a hash run, which was located at the historic ruins of a Buddhist temple near ChokChai. As it was the new year the pack of hounds was small, consisting of the 4 of us. So we gathered around at the site after running around ChokChai for the nibblies & the all mighty famous block of ice. As it was a sacred site we had to obey the local customs from which we left to Bossyboot to rein us in, & no doubt mainly Wobblyboot.
Since I The Procrastinator opened his mouth identifying the hare’s path it was determined that I was to lead the pack, (not a good idea if wanting to finish before dark). So of we went & not before long, a couple of hundred meters, the pace hastened due to a few stray dogs disenchanted by our presence. As the hare had little time to find it`s path the run was set through a village, so yet again bewildering them as to why these crazy farang do this.
Then when we thought it was going to be all running the sent swung into the rice fields, were the balance & agility of a true hound came into play.
As the pack slowed to a walking pace as not to damage any limbs scanting & leaping along the narrow dykes, it was also the number one mission as to avoid an early mud bath.
The hare then decided to leave the fields leading the pack through a mish mesh of old tree branches (a deterrent used for the honest locals). As the hounds broke into the clear they were a bit hesitant as to who was going to go first – the man on the plough or the hound. Now that the path was clear the tempo picked up, giving Wobblyboot a view as to what happens when a hound runs with it`s pockets full.
Along the open path we went ON ON, & as The Procrastinator was tricked into sliding down a small hill ready to tackle another dyke, it was the wiser & older PennyDrops that seen the short cut.
From that point after hitting the main road the ever so fit Procrastinator had to abort the chase leaving the job of catching the hare to Wobblyboot & Pennydrops. On working off the time lapse they must have chased at a good pace, ensuring the hounds gathered in a circle around the hare.
It was a smallish circle with a few down downs with Bossyboot doing yet another wonderful job of preparing for the hounds return.
The circle also consisted of a demonstration by Wobblyboot as to why a hound should empty it`s pockets.
Then of to the Ram we went for more DOWN DOWNS !

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Scribe Runs 7&8-

ATTENDING "KORAT MIXED UP BUFFALO'S" RUN #7 29th Nov and Run #8 30th Nov 2008
Run Story by Lord Lucan a member of the Pattaya Team

0930hrs 29th at the junction of road 3240 and highway 331the Jungle Away Team are marshaled into a disorderly convey by their esteemed GM.  Red and Yellow hash shirts have been left behind so we are don’t confuse the BIB into thinking we are take sides in the Thai political struggles.  Only Greyhound was relieved of tea money on the outward journey while attempting to break the sound barrier in his chariot. Bam Bam, at one point while being harangued by Pebbles reverted to “accepted” Thai rules of the road driving. However, Buddha came to his rescue and the other innocent party suffered minor brown trouser problems.
1400hrs we arrive hotel Korat – the journey would have been quicker but the Thai lumpy ones suffered from frequent empty stomachs and weak bladders while on route. George and Dragon (Korat H3 Bar) situated next door to the hotel, and the smiling face of Pennydrops is in attendance to greet us.
1530hrs and we all board the hash wagon for the 30 minute ride out to the A site.  Problem, the driver has engaged one of his brain cells after traveling for a few minutes. There is no one to guide him to the A site – the hares are in the rear seats with the pack.  All change and we proceed.
1600hrs arrival A site and we are greeted by Wobblyboot, one of the bastions of the Korat H3, the current GM and one of todays Hares together with Bossyboot, the formers keeper and mother to his children.
1610hrs – Wooblyboot and Pennydrops brief the assembled pack- easy “when the paper stops check until you find the trail again.
1615hrs On Out- This looks familiar thinks the scribe – tapioca fields and eucalyptus plantations – home from home and this is over 300km from Pattaya.  The very well laid trail and frequent checks keeps the pack together. Dizzy seen to fall onto to his nose (with full pike) after only just setting out landing heavily and inducing the startled Cpt Kirk into bolting.   Two young local Korat hashers were much in evidence front running.  However, Undomefly and his virgin friend- they must learn not to run along together holding hands!!!   The voice of G.I.Joe calling ONON kept the dogs well away from the pack.
Then we arrived at the wall behind which we were promised was an enchanted wood where a Princess lived in her palace. Complete rubbish. It was full of sharp spiky plants and head high branches that either ripped the pack apart or knocked them senseless.  No, this was a hare’s paradise containing a myriad of paths in which they succeeded in turning the pack inside out. At one point we were induced into re-climbing the wall using makeshift bamboo ladders only to find an YBF back check.
Sheik Bin Shaggin and Bush Woman became FRB’s for large parts of the run. SBS admitted later he only started running to keep up in case he got lost in the woods the” front running was an embarrassment” he claimed
1720hrs the pack returns together “over the wall”- although some of the stupid ones are unable to find the ladder and haul one another over the four meter obstacle.  The Lumpy Ones seemed to enjoy being man handled by the macho hashers. Squeeze My Tube and That’s the One insisted they want to go around for a second time. Being groped by hashers must turn them on!
We are greeted by the hares offering cold beer, sandwiches, chicken, somtam and sticky rice. Followed, by fruits in season. All very civilized.
1745hrs the circle is called and the “circle illumination” consisting of one Christmas tree light hanging 20 feet up in a tree is turned on.  Thank goodness we had a clear night, a full moon and Bam Bam’s torch.
Visitors are greeted. Two virgins (One Pattaya and one Korat) are introduced and then the circle fun started. However, as this is a run story and not a circle story you will have to attend the next Korat hash to learn more about these activities.
2000hrs Arrive back at the George & Dragon ONONON Bar and proceeded to sample he beers on offer while the lumby ones retired to eat AGAIN at the local market. That is all except Bossyboots who was still busy acting as minded to Wobblyboot. Now I understand why!  WobblyBoot smashing one full bottle of beer onto the floor quickly followed by a full glass of beer and walking everywhere wit that wobblyboot on a perfect hash name. All I can say is he was repatriated quickly and quietly to his bed.
The evening became louder and louder – some one ordered pizza from a local shop but had no money to pay for them!!! Thanks for a great night Korat - I think.
1030hrs Nov 30th. The Pattaya Away Team convoy form for the 60min drive to Wang Nam Khiao and Pennydrops palatial house where Part 2 of run #7 will take place.
Again the hares are WobblyBoot and Pennydrops and we enjoyed a trail set in his and adjoining estates before sampling some home cured smoked bacon and ribs washed down with more amber liquid.
Thank you from the Pattaya Jungle Hash for entertaining us so well. We will be back!

ONON    Lord Lucan

The KoratHHH was honored to have the PJH3 as our first real visiting hash and we hope to see you again. Many thanks from the KoratHHH for a memorable time! ONON.

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Scribe Run 6- 

Well it was a normal Sat hash day and as I pondered the run all day I felt my excitement growing. So at around 4:15 my newly found LBFM came out of the bedroom all dressed in black with an evil glint in her eye. I was lying back waiting to receive something good or painful when I hear the buzzer ringing at my front gate. Ohhhh god no, did I lock the gate I thought as my new LBFM stood above me with whip in hand. I panicked for a minute trying to remember what the stop signal was so that my LBFM could remove the gagball from my now salivating mouth and tell her what was going on. At last I gave the signal and with a disappointed look on her face she removed the gagball and I told her to take the hand cuffs off so I could get ready for the hash run. She moaned and groaned something about getting even tonight and that I better not stay with those hash blokes to long as she has a lot of punishment to deal out to me for my bad behavior.

Anyway I quickly grabbed me hash gear which was packed and threw on me shorts I then realized I had a Viagra horn that was going no where. I repositioned everything including my carry bag so the ever observant “WOBBLYBOOT” would not suspect anything. After friendly greetings “WOBBLYBOOT” wanted to use my computer to see if there were any messages from hashers as he had not had a chance to go online today as he was in fact the secret hare. Well awash with horror with thoughts of “WOBBLYBOOT” going into my place and seeing butt plugs, dildos and various other sex toys strew around my house I quickly came up with an excuse that “I HAVE BEEN SO BUSY AND GOT A NEW GIRL FRIEND” the computer has crashed the place is a mess and I in fact have not been able to even access the internet to reply to a few important emails. “WOBBLYBOOT” said oh fuck it, lets go the hounds have had enough time too find their own way to the A site as the HHH signs were up.

So of we went me with me hidden mongrel. “WOBBLYBOOT” asked which was the quickest way from my place? I being ever reliable sent “WOBBLYBOOT” half way to Bangkok before admitting I did not even know how to find the 7/11 without getting lost. “BOSSYBOOT” then living up to her name said "go here there here there jai yen yen" and we turned up at the run site simple as that.

Well the pack was huge to say the least, excepting “PENNYDROPS” who is quite thin!!! We were all ready to go with “WOBBLYBOOT” giving the brief when an EX Airforce Officer come rice farmer turned up telling us not to run in there (there being were the run was) because of this that and the other. He soon found himself a victim of “PENNYDROPS” silver tongue and he was soon smiling showing the way for the hounds to go.

So under the barbed wire we went and as I crawled under it was like a plough turning earth with my tiller still under the influence of the Viagra. We ran thru some tricky checks and loops in an old nursery set up and on to some really clever checks. I have to openly admit here I am in awe of “WOBBLYBOOTS” ability and skill in setting runs. We went on past “BOSSYBOOT” snapping away photos of the hounds as they did there best to suck in their beer bellies. On thru some nice cover and into a running park with loops and checks sending the pack everywhere. Well we gathered again after some medical treatment for “PENNYDROPS” as he slipped and crashed over the only pile of garbage I have ever seen dumped without thought in Thailand. So we went thru some shiggy and popped out on a wall at the SEA Games stadium where we ducked back into some nice covered trails. We went on in the shade for a while when a tribe of village kids found us and decided to join the pack for the remainder of the run. We ended following the kids advice and ended up on the ON IN road with “BOSSYBOOT” taking the glory and blazing back to the A site as we mucked around with some creatures of higher intelligence(cows) before running happily in.

CIRCLE 6

GM called the circle to order and called in “UNDOMEFLY” and relieved him of his RA roll as the GM decided that if he did not have it he would want it. The GM turned out to be right as throughout the circle “UNDOMEFLY” was fully functional like a man on viagra and it showed. Others were called in for various stuff you know NewBoots, Visitors, Run counts ect ect. Then a look alike for “THEFINK” who has gone missing in action and who in turn was relieved of any future responsibilities under the same theory as that with “UNDOMEFLY”, will see if it works.

“BOSSYBOOT” was snapping away as was “UNDOMEFLY” when “BOSSYBOOT” noticed a ghost in one of the pictures. Well this took over most of the circle as we took on the rolls of different X FILES characters and decided that we needed to solve this mystery before hysteria and panic hit  the wonderful people of Thailand. The answers to these mysteries and outcomes of there investigations will be revealed at the next circle so don’t miss it.

Anyway “SCULLY aka WOBBLYBOOT” did not stop splashing people for what seemed an eternity and when my mobile set to vibrate began to ring it instantly renewed my still Viagra induced member and I could not decide how to get out of this without to much punishment from either the GM or my new LBFM. The GM then declared enough and we went to “GEORGE&DRAGONS” place for a few more. I then decided to take my punishment and quietly slid off on the back of a motocy for my true punishment.

We all ended up nice and happy claiming Run 6 to be the best we have ever done in Korat and looking forward to run 7!!!

ON ON “UNDOMEFLY”

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Scribe Run 5

The hounds gathered at Undomefly's gracious early Korat period manse in Soi 13 off
MangledMuff Rd more or less at the designated time.  After milling about smartly for a
bit and admiring Undomefly's grounds and pond, we loaded ourselves into Wobblyboot's
pickup truck for a sightseeing tour of downtown Korat and half-hour ride out to the run
site.  On board were Wobblyboot, Bossyboot (the GM's GM),  George Procrastinator
Beverage, Martin Undomefly Nolastname, Rob Marathonman Namelss, a frequent guest to Korat
HHH from the Phuket HHH, and your humble scribe, Gordon Yettobenamed Bailey.  The ride
through the late afternoon rush hour traffic of Korat was enhanced by an admirable
selection of  eyecandy, some of whom occasionally and unwittingly obliged the hounds in
the bed of the truck with a peek at bit of comely thigh as they sped by on their
motosighs.

The run site, skillfully chosen and laid once again by the GM, was on the edge of Dan
Kwian pottery village, and extended into the verdant bush on both sides of the divided
highway.  It was an A to A run from the beer wagon parked just off the highway in a lush
meadow and left under the guard of Bossyboot.  Runners dodged a Dutch tourist bus to
cross the highway and plunged into the bush on the other side.  The early leg was
straight forward as we followed a clear paper trail along a rain swollen stream between
the wood and the rice fields.  Marathonman, demonstrating Phuket HHH aggressiveness, took
an early lead with Undomefly close at his heels.  Yettobenamed did his best to keep up,
and the Hare followed.  Procrastinator, who for reasons known only to him and The
Intelligent Designer, had chosen to run in a pair of Jesus slippers, faded slowly to the
rear.  Things spread out a bit as the challenges began, with Marathonman and Undomefly
usually choosing the right path, and Yettobenamed the dead end.  Not to mind,
Yettobenamed was saved repeatedly by the GM, who remained rear guard.  Procrastinator
disappeared, having lost one his flipflops trying to cross the pathside stream.  We
forged on through rain soaked glens along the edge of a postcard Isan village with quaint
peasants lounging about in post-40percentWhiskey slumbers and muttering "here come the
crazy farangs again" as we passed.   The group became reassembled when runners ran up
against the highway.  We trailed through the pottery village for a bit -- to the delight
and dismay of the locals and tourists -- then crossed an arrow marked overpass and
plunged into the bush on the home side of the highway.  By now Marathonman's late nights
in Pattaya were taking their toll and he and Undomefly slowed so that we became an
incoherent group again, lacking only the now shoeless Procrastinator.  But, ultimately he
reappeared, miraculously reshod by his Maker, and the reassembled group headed in what
seemed the direction towards the beer.  But, the hounds were duped one final time when
the paper led us 180 degrees from home to a dead end.  Tails between our legs, we
reversed track and beat it in home for the Circle.

Wobblyboot demonstrated that he had surely pissed up in the bush often before by deftly
slicing empty water bottles to make beer mugs and a bottle opener, both of which seemed
to be missing from the piss kit.  Down downs proceeded with the guest and newcomer
welcomed, offenders identified and punishments metered out.   Things became a bit blurred
about then for your humble scribe, and I'm not sure what happened from then on.  I do
remember a 50 Kg block of ice made round on the top by the warmth of first Wooblyboot's,
then Procrastinator's, then my bare butt.  And I do remember, to my great embarrassment,
that in my pissy fuzz I let my britches drop too low, which placed my shrunken privates
directly in view of dear Bossyboot (Giggling histerically).  My most sincere apologies.  Someone wore a
toilet seat, and someone made Yettobenamed drink too much piss form some kind of PVC
contraption for some unknown offense.  The last thing I remember before loading into the
pick up for the ride back was proudly receiving HHH baptism with the name Pennydrops, in
recognition, I think, of how swiftly I catch on to what's going on around me.  Now that's
a name that shouldn't get me in trouble with the missus.

We repaired to Paul's Sport and Cocktail Bar where, I am told, more frosties, a good
meal, and a grand time was had by all. I don't know, since I had faded by then.

It was a great run. (Some would say the best run they have ever done in Korat)   On On to No. 6

Your's faithfully, etc., etc.

Pennydrops

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Scribe Run 4

We met at “UNDOMEFLYS” place and after much discussion we decided to go our own way to the run avoiding the heavy Korat traffic. We arrived after traveling an extra 20 kilo or so but we were on time.

The hare “WOBBLYBOOT” called them into a circle and tried to explain some very basic instructions and again a lot of blank stares.

Off the pack went across a super highway with 15 kids yelling “FARANG FARANG” at them from the back of a pickup. Off into the shiggy they went with a couple of quick checks. “THE FINK” was springing around like a bantam rooster thru the shiggy and finding paper everywhere he went. Out of the shiggy and across the super highway again this time a bus of factory girls all yelling “FARANG FARANG” but they could not deter the hounds. On thru some lovely little trails and then under some Barb Wire for a huge loop and out under the wire and into some more beautiful covered trails. All the hounds packed up after the huge loop and we all went up an upturned Tapioca paddock and it was like a 200m sand dune sprint. Yep we got to the top to turn back down the trail and into more covered trails. Out of the covered area and into the rice paddies with all the hounds going ohhhhhh so beautiful just like Bali. We got out of the rice and across a few more fields and then to the super highway and on in.

Everyone claimed it to be the best run they have ever experienced in Korat.

The circle went something like this-
The bottom line is that I got so drunk that I have very little memory
of anything that happened that night. I kind of remember where the run
was. I remember going to Mojo's. I'm told I met $#% and ^#$^^#^, but
have no recollection of either one of them or what they look like. I
remember my wife coming to pick me up. That's it.

I am from now on going to take a more in the background role!!!!

ON ON %#&^@*^*@

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